Chiefs Front Office Issues Travis Kelce an Ultimatum: Dump Taylor Swift or Go Somewhere Else
The Kansas City Chiefs don’t talk about it much, but the organization’s front office and ownership despises Taylor Swift.
“They just want her gone from the spotlight,” said team spokesman Joe Barron, “She comes to the games and half the crowd spends the game turning their heads to see if she’s gonna do something or they’re focused on the big screen shouting ‘Taylor, Taylor.’ It’s bad for football.”
A recent survey of the crowd found that rather than the 92 percent Chiefs fans to 8 percent opponents, they now regularly see 8 percent opponents and a 50-50 split between Chiefs fans and Swifties.
“They’ve started paying Eras Tour prices for their tickets,” said Barron, “So now the most popular jersey in the crowd is ‘Swift’ with the number 88. We’re not sure if it’s significant for some other reason than the natural inclination to believe she’s a Nazi.”
ALLOD Sports Correspondelatorist Tara Newhole took a deep dive into the issue and found it to be slightly exaggerated.
“Ever see the Jesus scene in The Stewie Griffin Movie? It’s kinda like that,” said Newhole, “When I heard Al Michaels got fired for disrespecting her I had to see for myself. It turns out he’s just a dick, the crowd couldn’t care less who’s sitting in the VIP boxes, and the cameras hit Taylor about as much as they should, considering she’s literally the most popular human being on the planet.”
Unfortunately, Tara turned out to be a Swifty so we’re not certain how accurate her rep[orting is on this one, patriots. We’ll keep you updated on this developing Story. God Bless America.
